How to Navigate Online Dating

How did you meet your significant other?

I have been asked with question a lot in the time my boyfriend and I have been dating. And, to be honest, a little while I was scared to say where we met. I mean it kind of seemed taboo that we met online, even though we met on Twitter and not an online dating site.

But, there’s absolutely no shame in it.

Dating in today’s climate isn’t easy and a lot of it, like most of our communication, has moved online. So, how do we even begin to find someone we can picture ourselves in this state?

Go in Without Expectations

The one thing I realized before I started dating my boyfriend is that if you go in immediately thinking you’re going to find your soulmate after swiping a few times, you’re going to be disappointed. I found Matt when I honestly wasn’t looking for a significant other. First and foremost, look for someone who’s authentic and you could see as a friend before anything else. If you can’t start a friendship then you probably won’t be able to start a relationship down the road.

Don’t Compromise Your Values

This goes without saying but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You don’t have to talk to a person, give them your number and you certainly don’t have to do anything you are uncomfortable with. You shouldn’t be expected to. If you’re online and someone asks for say a picture or you to do anything, you’re not obligated to do so. And, if it makes you uncomfortable the nice thing about online platforms is you can report it.

The same thing goes for dating even if you’re not online. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do nor should you feel the need to compromise your values to appease someone else. Be true to yourself.

Be Authentically You

Whether it’s as simple as your interests or as complex as your values and beliefs, be true to who you are. When talking to people, don’t be ashamed of things you like. Heck, I was on my college’s Quidditch team (yes, believe it or not) and I wore it like a badge of honor! If they couldn’t like me at my Harry Potter nerd they sure as hell didn’t deserve me at my sorority formal best. Be yourself and do not try to change for anyone.


Have a Good Time

If you’re not having fun during the process it’s not worth it. If you’re miserable swiping, you’ll probably be miserable on a date with anyone you match with. Make jokes. Tell your friends about the experience. Use corny pickup lines.

Dating is hard and it’s not always fun. I’ve doubted myself, my worth and if I would ever find someone who loved me. But, there is always a light at the end of the will find your lobster–just remember to have a good time along the way and trust the process.

And, when all else fails know you’re not alone. Your big sister is always here for you.


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